Almost a year to be exact! And a lot has been going on. But I do have an excellent excuse for the last 5 months at least: I'm pregnant, and I have been very, very sick. I sort of hoped that I wouldn't be sick, so honestly, I wasn't prepared for quite how bad it was going to be, or that I would get every weird symptom going, from a terrible taste in the mouth, to food aversions so strong I've only managed to eat pasta and cheese for the last four months . . . pregnancy, I think, is a version of hell. However, make no mistake, this baby, who is currently kicking away inside me so hard that I'm pretty much vibrating, is very much wanted.
We started trying 3 years ago, had one miscarriage about 2.5 years ago, and that was it until the ultimate surprise in February, when I was so insistent my period was about to come, that I didn't actually do a pregnancy test until I was several days late (I actually had acupuncture to help - if you'd like me to talk about that experience, let me know!). We were due to have our appointment to talk about IVF, and suddenly there she was! Having had the miscarriage, I then found myself so anxious, that I was in denial - not to mention the fact I bruised my sternum from retching so much - for the first 12 weeks. I still find myself going into scans disbelieving. But there she is. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
I think my anxiety was compounded by the fact that we only want one child. So, having taken three years to conceive, and now being 35 (next month) this is pretty much our chance, right here.
P.S. I've been met with quite a lot of resistance from the older generation for only wanting one child, and it's mostly been men! If you have one child, have you had this experience? We have a number of reasons for this decision, including environmental ones, which I'll go into in a later blog, but it is starting to p**s me off somewhat that older men, who have never known the hell of pregnancy, keep contradicting what I know about myself - namely, that my sanity would not survive more than one child.
In any case, she's here, she's growing, and she's learned to kick - hard! Which, given that she joined me in jiu jitsu and kickboxing for the first six weeks of her little life, I'm hoping means she's picked up some of those martial arts skills already.
Wish me luck for her continued health guys.
Thanks for reading!